Home education! Why would you do that?

Chalk drawing to brighten up the garden

It’s been a long time since I have written a blog post on here, maybe two years or more. And that’s not because I haven’t been home educating, because I absolutely have. I’m almost at the point now where one of my children is 18! I can’t believe we have made it this far.

I haven’t been writing anything about home education, because I didn’t feel I had much to say that would be very helpful to you. There are so many people now who are home education and sharing their experiences, I didn’t feel I had much to add.

However, more recently, with the UK government making plans to overstep several of my personal boundaries, and also with the conversations arising about why people are leaving the school system in their droves to home educate their children, I thought I’d make a comeback and share a little bit about my experience.

So firstly, I am a mum of three children who all happen to be autistic, like their dad. They are all incredibly talented and knowledgeable in their special interests, which I suspect they could all get university degrees in already.

I trained as an early years educator and then a teacher in the 1990’s and early 2000’s, based on my core belief, that although I had always hated school, I could be the person to make it better for other children. I could be the person that made school a happy, safe place for children to be and I could create an environment where they felt comfortable and able to learn and have fun.

However, teaching in a mainstream classroom triggered panic attacks in me and some serious mental health issues. I stepped out of the classroom and never went back.

Instead, after my eldest child was born, I got much more creative with my understanding of education and what it meant to help other people to learn and make positive changes to their lives. I went to work for a fabulous charity where I was allowed total freedom to create groups and classes that supported children and families to learn together and express themselves through the arts.

At this time I had never considered home education for my child. I didn’t even know that it was legal or an option that I had. I thought that children had to be in school full time from the ages of 5-18. No excuses. So, you can imagine the utter distress I experienced when my first born took to school like a duck to a ladder.

I have never seen a child so traumatised in all my life of working with children. Adults would prise him away from me on the playground. He would scream. I would cry.

Every ounce of my intuition was saying, “don’t let them do this. ”But the professionals were saying their favourite phrase, “he’s fine in school.” He wasn’t fine, and I knew it deep in my bones.

But we persisted. It was awful. What choice did I have?

When he wasn’t meeting his required ‘targets’ for reading and writing at the age of 7, because phonics made absolutely no sense to him whatsoever, I asked the school if he might be dyslexic? To which the head teacher at the time responded, “I don’t know. But here’s the dyslexia testing kit for the school, you’re a teacher, you test him.” And she handed me the kit and left.

Of course I am not a dyslexia assessor; I had no idea what I was looking at. I had no support from school. So, I paid £500 to have my child properly assessed, as he deserved. And it turned out I was indeed correct. He was dyslexic. This made no odds to the school, who continued on and on with the same curriculum and teaching style, except one teacher, who was a history graduate! He taught everything to my son via history, and that was an exceptionally good year.

The following year, year 4, however, was the nail in the coffin for that particular school experience. My son had a teacher who not only scared him and the other children but also scared me. My son was a shadow of himself, he was crying every day, shaking, flinching every time there was a loud noise and was deeply, deeply unhappy.

When she announced one day to the class that she would rather be walking her dog than teaching them, I knew I needed to take action.

Thankfully a wonderful friend of mine was already home educating her dyslexic daughter, and she told me how to deregister. And so that’s what I did. Was I terrified? Yes, absolutely. By this time, I also had a baby and toddler at home to “help” me with the home education! But my number one concern was the mental health and well-being of my son. So, I pressed send on the email, posted the letter through the door of the school, and that was the beginning of The Do try This at home school and our home education experience.

A living history project in the early days of The Do Try This at Home School

Home education has enabled and forced me to find my voice, to speak up when things are not working, and to trust in my intuition and my children’s innate abilities to be brilliant at what they love. Sometimes it has been scary to let go of the societal norms, but my goodness my children (and yours) are incredible. They have skills and talents way beyond my own and way beyond many adults I know. Their well-being is my number one priority. Above and beyond any grade, any government policy, any professional telling me that they know better. It’s not an easy path to follow, but I will not stray from it.

Home education is not an easy option, but sometimes there is no other option.

As a parent who has home educated varying numbers of my own children now for 9 years, I can tell you that there is a huge amount of judgement placed on families who home educate. Some people think we are privileged, some question my qualifications to be able to “teach,” my children. Many say, “I can’t do it, but if anyone can do it, you can.” I have had to develop very broad shoulders and a very strong sense of my values and what I want for my children and their future.

I want to be very clear that I am not wealthy at all, nor is my husband. (He’s an artist.)

I don’t own a house, I have no pension, I have a very small business that just about functions around my family. I work hard. I sacrifice a lot. We don’t go on expensive holidays, we don’t have a posh car, we don’t go out for meals… unless it’s chips, and I buy most of my clothes in sales and on eBay. But we are rich in time with our children, we are rich in joy and this journey continues to teach me so much about myself, my family and the beautiful, crazy world in which we live.

Home education isn’t for everyone, and some children absolutely thrive in school. Some schools are amazing; I currently have one child in school. But for other children and parents, home education is a lifeline. So, if you are about to dive into this world and step out of the norm, please know that you are not alone and all the home education families are rooting for you. You’ve got this.

If you would like more inspiration for your own home education journey there are lots of activities, blog posts and videos on this website, and I also have a few books available to buy on Amazon, so please feel free to have a look. My latest book is called Naturally Creative and it's full of nature based, seasonal activities to try at home with your children, whether you are home educating, on school holidays, or teaching in a school, I've even added risk assessments for you!

#homeeducation #thedotrythisathomeschool #parenting